Incontinence: The Romance Killer

incontinence romance killerIncontinence, the involuntary release of one’s bowels – whether urinary or fecal – has detrimental effects on relationships. Many people who suffer from it find it difficult to lead normal lives because interacting with friends and family is hard as there is a negative stigma attached to the idea of not being able to control one’s bowels. But as people age, they are more likely to experience incontinence, which leads to an increased number of older people who choose to isolate themselves.

For every man that has incontinence, there are twice as many women. When it comes to the relationships between men and women, incontinence leads to a variety of negative effects. Studies have been conducted to determine these negative effects and showed that the lack of confidence, bedrooms drama, laughter deficit in women and dating dilemmas were found in relationships where incontinence played a part.

Women With Incontinence

For women, incontinence has several psychological effects. They stop laughing because doing so puts pressure on their pelvic floor muscle, leading to accidents. They avoid sleeping next to others if they happen to leak during the night. What many women fail to realize is that 60% of their gender, at some point in their lives, have had to deal with incontinence.

The Problem With Dating And Incontinence

Spending quality time together strengthens the bond you have. But this can be hard for women as incontinence brings fear and insecurities. Studies show that incontinence is jokingly considered a “third wheel” in the dating world in the UK. A significant amount of women are nervous about dating because of this.

Not Getting Enough Sleep

Sleep is a crucial aspect of life as it allows for your body to rejuvenate. But women with incontinence suffer from not getting enough sleep. When it comes to sleeping with your partner, women are that much more nervous. It’s natural for people to give their potential partner’s a good impression – and they worry that incontinence will ruin that. The loss of sleep has negative effects on other aspects of life too.

Laughter Is Not The Best Medicine

Laughter is the best medicine but not for those who suffer from urinary incontinence, as it leads to accidental leakages and embarrassment. People have therefore developed a coping mechanism to not laugh. Studies show that a third of women use this method to avoid embarrassment. This can delay bonding in a relationship.

How To Avoid Incontinence


Being constipated can put pressure on your bladder, leading to incontinence. Though it may seem counter-intuitive, it’s important to keep your body hydrated. The recommended intake is 8 glasses of water daily, but this should be judged according to climate conditions. To strengthen your bladder system, consume a good amount of nutrients and vitamins. Urine that is pale yellow indicates you are sufficiently hydrated and dark yellow urine is a sign that you need to hydrate.

Increasing Fiber

To avoid the buildup of fecal matter, you need to consume a healthy amount of fiber in your diet. Whole-grain cereals, fruits and vegetables are a good source. The daily recommended intake is around 30-60 grams. This will prevent constipation and keep your digestive system healthy.


Physical activity can stimulate circulation, even in your bowels, which makes it healthier and prevents constipation. Kegel exercises and even walking briskly can be effective enough – but kegel exercises are actually recommended to strengthen your pelvic floor muscles.

Toilet Habits

Scientists have found out that our bodies are wired to adapt – even to our daily toilet trips. Avoid urinating until and unless you have a full bladder. Going again and again results in your body getting used to multiple trips – and that can lead to “accidents” when a bathrooms isn’t in close range. People often don’t realize they need to put an effort in using their muscles to pee, but they should in order to flush out all of the urine that’s present.

Similarly, fecal bowel should never be held in when there’s an urge. If the movement is not fluid enough, be patient and take your time in the bathroom. The recommended posture for passing stool, as studies show, is to squat. This releases more stool that would otherwise remain in your bowel, and it comes out easier this way. People can make use of a foot stool in the toilet for this.

Incontinence is more embarrassing than anything else, as it’s a fairly treatable problem. Consulting with a doctor and facing the problem is often the hardest part.

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